So obviously city life is not, has not (probably will not) ever be as glamorous as I imagined.
Cocktails, cocktail parties and yes cocktail dresses cost money and I sir do not have any income, which had led me to temping aka my equivalent of a get rich (get enough money to pay bills) scheme.
Last week I had the displeasure of working at a law firm for the day, for dignity purpose lets say it rhymed it park & caslapus. These were the jankiest, worst dressed, illest mannered people I’ve ever seen in a professional environment. After hearing one of the paralegals refer to her boss as an “asshole” “douchebag” “idiot” and declaring that he was a “lazy piece of shit” and that “she could run the company much better than he could*” I decided it was time to head for a lunchtime shopping spree. I found myself in H&M after fighting my way through the thick smog of nuts4nuts and ended up purchasing a simple pair of white, fuzzy mittens.
Sidenote: Does anyone else prefer mittens to gloves? I feel like when you wear gloves your fingers aren’t able to share the warmth that the other one offers and therefore not as superior.
Came back to the office to hear a fight. A legitimate fight going on between the associates, after a few “fucks” and “assholes” were thrown around I was offered a position as their new receptionist. I declined and this morning begin a new temp position at a real estate position…details to come Friday.
* Don’t you hate/wonder when people say “oh yea I came in and totally reworked this place, it runs much better because of me- I could do this job 10x better than the boss” Then why aren’t you the boss? better yet why haven’t you made partner? If you’re so much smarter/more organized/better than your boss then whyyyy are you still answering phones? Exactly.
What do you do when faced with earth-shattering, soul-shaking, life-altering quarter life crisis?
You start a business.
The summer after graduation, I moved back home, did some serious soul searching and came up with an idea. Applying for jobs is like, insufferable and it’s even worse when you hate your job. Unfortunately for us, meaning us 20-somethings, there is a lot of this type of thing going on. You have to take a job because you need the money, or you ended up majoring in something you weren’t too passionate about from the get go because your parents thought it would land you a big money position, only to find out you’d rather shake coins on the street than work another day at your position.
This is the point of Outflow
A mentor-mentee website. The point for me was to try and create something where people, all walks of people, whether your in high-school, college, entry level or even retired to get connected. You can give someone in high school advice on college, or help out a post-grad figure out how to make a good first impression during an interview. If you’re looking to make a change in your career, or get a promotion or whatever it may be, it’s always easier to make that change if you have someone to guide you.
Now before you roll your eyes and think, hey, I don’t know anyone, I have no connections and I have no time to help others.
- Firstly, don’t be lazy. It takes 2 minutes to write a sentence, a word of encouragement to someone else
- Secondly, don’t underestimate yourself or downplay your experiences. Have you been to college? Been on an interview? Fired? Unemployed? yea these are all things that everyone will go through at one point and that you can help someone through.
- And lastly, have you ever heard of karma? Yea, don’t be a douche, help someone out and you’d be surprised at what begins to happen in your life.
P.S. In case you haven’t noticed any of the links I’ve been dropping to the site- Here you go
It’s about time that someone write an advice book for men about women
It’s about time we educate them on how to get, keep and please a good women
It’s about time someone inform them that it’s not us that needs help- it’s them
That someone is me, and that time is not right now, but its coming.
Bitter bitches are the worst kind of bitches there are
Okay so after some thought, and a few more unemployed days I’m finally able to complete my list, and yes I added one more.
6) Your apartment will never be perfect. Finding an apartment with no flaws in New York is impossible, unless you have an extra $2,000 a month you’re willing to spend on rent. For example, my apartment has fake walls. Never heard of that, educate yourself.
My apartment happens to be a luxurious 786 sq feet. Think that’s bad? my friends live in a 400 sq foot stunner, no fake walls. Another trio of my buddies lives in a spacious 3 bedroom, only downside? no living room area and no cable. You win some you lose some biddies.
7) Smile at no one. My families from the south, we are a friendly people, we smile and say hello. In DC it was a common thing to smile and say hello to people on the street when making awkward eye contact with them- a hard thing to avoid seeing as the city was crawling with tourists. Here, the best thing you can do for yourself is investing in the largest blackest pair of sunglasses you can find and perfecting the dodge*
8) You’re gonna have to swallow your pride if you’re not willing to be a slave. By this I mean if you are not in New York working as a finance person working 90 hours a week or someone in PR who works 6 days a week you will have to swallow your pride and work:
- In retail
- As a temp
- Someone’s assistant
- Some other position where you work a million hours and get paid nothing
Today’s lesson has been concluded- go forth and be fruitful.
*Anyone whose gone to college knows what I’m talking about. This is where you see someone you recognize, make eye contact, then look away quickly pretending like you didn’t just see them.