Nothing feels as good as blowing your nose

If you’re squeamish I suggest you stop reading now.

Besides having a job, I’m also sick. With the most recent polar vortex sweeping the country it’s no surprise. As I was fumbling through my pockets for tissues I realized how excited I was to blow my nose. Sad right? But just think about it, when your nose is so stuffy, and your mouth is all dry from mouth breathing, and you cant smell, but suddenly you realize you have a tissue. A soft, beautiful, aloe-vera filled, pillowy tissue and you blow your nose. Blow it like your Paul Revere sounding the trumpet to warn the colonists (did he have a trumpet?). That feeling is so glorious. It’s like taking your socks off after running through puddles, finally being able to pee after holding it during your morning commute or taking that first bite of Ben & Jerry’s Cinnamon Bun ice cream.

It’s truly magical.

Baby my whole life has changed

If you don’t recognize that above lyric from the hit maker ginuwine, then we can’t be friends.

But really, it has. I live in New York, I have my own apartment and a new job…Did I not mention the job before? Yea. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, in fact I really don’t want to come across that way. I was walking back from brunch the other day with my friend (I know gag me with a spoon) and I saw a homeless man pooping on the side of the street, I could literally smell it from a block away. So yes, I don’t want to sound ungrateful. It’s great that I have a job! Super. Granted its another temp position, but it’s for 8 weeks so it feels like something steady.

I digress.

I have a job, a new apartment, so I guess you could say, my whole life has changed.

Anyways, I gotta go to work…