The very first job “real person” job I ever had was at Sirius XM Radio, and I absolutely hated it. The only thing that kept me from crying myself to sleep every night was the fact that I only had to work from noon-5 p.m.
When you’re doing something you hate, not even hate but don’t like, not even don’t like, but are indifferent to. Have no feelings for, it’s truly exhausting. To wake up every day knowing that you have something inside you that’s not being put to use, being wasted, dying, it’s truly exhausting. It’s tiring, it hurts. When you wake up, what to you have to look forward to? When you get dressed and leave the house, what are you looking forward to? When you get to your job, what to you have to look forward to? When you head home at night…the same thing everyday.
This is the definition of unhappiness.
You wonder why people around you don’t feel like going out to dinner, meeting you for drinks after work, don’t feel like talking to you on the phone, don’t want to go out on weekends, can’t be convinced to go see that new art exhibit with you. Sit around watching TV all day, spend all their money on alcohol and clothes, take drugs whenever they can. They are like hamsters on a wheel.
When you can’t express yourself, when you are forced to suppress you, forced to suppress YOU, as a person. YOU, and you have to conform to some new normal, to some new life. When you understand this concept, and you see it in action, and you’ve experienced it, that’s when you understand unhappiness. That’s when you understand unhappiness and how important it is to spend every second, of every day of the rest of your life chasing it.
When you can finally wake up in the morning, not tired or hungover or broke, just wake up and be excited to get out of bed in the morning, that’s when you know you’ve found it.