It’s been exactly two years since the best St. Patty’s day of my life, unfortunately this one did not compare by any means. Since I was more of an observer than a participant this year I was able to pinpoint the different types of Irish men and women out celebrating.
1. The Irish men. This is an actual Irish man (or women of course) who just happens to be in the city on St. Patrick’s Day to just bless us with their authentic presence. Signs of the Irish men? an accent, red hair, pale skin, general loudness, usually the happiest person in the bar.
2. The not Irish men (or women), this person is neither Irish nor cares too much about St. Patrick’s Day; however, they are very into the hype surrounding it ie. green ketchup at Burger King, Shamrock shakes at McDonald’s, green beer and bagels, see a theme?
3. The in between Irish, this person started out the evening with good intentions, they were totally psyched about St. Patrick’s Day. Arriving at the bar super early dressed in all green, with shamrocks beads, leprechaun socks, and probably covered in green glitter, they were so excited to see and be seen but somewhere around their 8th beer and 4th Irish car bomb they lost their way and their St. Patrick’s day spirit.
4. The lost Irish, this person lives under a rock, has no idea its St. Patrick’s day. They just so happened to wander into a bar named Mcsorely’s, Finnerty’s or McFadden’s, decked out in green decorations and still maintain a confused, lost and annoyed look on their face throughout the evening.
5. The unwilling animal. Yes, this is what is sounds like, a poor animal who found itself on the wrong side of a spray paint can.
6. The unwilling friend. Once again, just what it sounds like, a friend who has been forced against their will to celebrate.
And for number 7 some of my favorite St. Patrick’s day social media posts:
You know it’s Saint Patrick’s day when there is a line of 100 people outside Mcsorleys at 6:45 am on your way to the gym
Just watched 25+ people get ticketed and three arrested for public drinking and intoxication by Grand Central….Happy St. Patty’s Day!!!
Twinkle twinkle little star, point me to the nearest bar #StPatricksDay
If anyone tries to pinch you today for not wearing green just tell them your dick is green and they’ll leave you alone. #StPatricksDay