First Comes Love – Katie Kacvinsky

First Comes Love – Katie Kacvinsky

“I crave space. It charges my batteries. It helps me breathe. Being around people can be so exhausting, because most of them love to take and barely know how to give. Except for a rare few”

Out of all the books, articles and quotes I’ve read about introversion this is the most accurate one. According to dictionary.com introverts “tend to be preoccupied with their own thoughts and feelings and minimize their contact with other people”. This seems a little harsh; it makes us introverts sound like antisocial hermits, when that is in fact not the case. I like to think of it as an hour glass – every moment that you’re around people the hour glass is tipped slowly running out of sand. When you feel your hourglass getting empty you need to retreat, whether it be at home, a long ride on the subway with some headphones or even a park. You just need to be alone and tip the glass to the other side.
Doesn’t mean we don’t want to hang out, doesn’t mean we don’t like you (most of the time) doesn’t mean we wouldn’t love to be out partying, it must means we need a second. It’s a weird feeling, to physically feel yourself being drained of your energy and to know when it will all be used up.
Introverts can be quite social actually and love conversation, especially about the deeper things in life. Nothing pains us more than small talk, ask any introvert and I guarantee they will tell you. We would rather sit and you and stare in silence than playing the ‘getting to know you’ game. Let’s not just talk about the dream you had last night, let’s explore the metaphors in the dream and what their connections might be to your life at this very moment. Why not pull out a dream dictionary and do a full on analysis, then we can have a discussion about the manifestations of your undiscovered passions in the dream and what you can do to work towards those goals!
Although it might come off a creepy and intrusive please understand it’s not. This is just the way we are! We care and want you to do the same. If you don’t ask, we won’t tell – that’s just the way we are
This is how conversations usually go on Fridays at the office:
Someone: what are your plans for the weekend?
me: who knows
me: (i know)
me: (I’m not leaving the house)
Most of us need to mentally prepare for nights out on the town, for example if I know that’s a friend’s birthday party on Saturday I’ll really try to lay low for the week, going to bed early, tucking my phone away as soon as I get home, walking around with headphones and no music to avoid talking to people, the usual. By Saturday night I’m ready to go, usually staying out until 4am, socializing, taking jokes even going to brunch the next day and participating in Sunday Funday (see I can be fun!). However come Monday don’t expect me to be anything less than a vegetable