The issue with the gray area is that people often speak when they’re not moved to speak or aren’t exactly sure what they want. When you’re just hooking up with someone why are you texting them?
Do you want to hang out with them? Do you want to sleep with them? Do you just want attention? Do you want a friend?
Speak when you feel moved to speak and be firm and clear in what you want and communicate it.
The difficult thing about when you start seeing someone is that the moment you sleep with them you begin to have expectations and the more you think and talk about it the more they pile on.
If you sleep with someone the assumption is that they must like you in some way, be attracted to something about you – personality, looks, etc. When you like someone and are attracted to them you want to be around them and spend time with them. The more time you spend with someone the better you get to know them – you want to introduce them to your friends, family, bring them around more often. You want them to prioritize you. What do you do with your friends you like the most? You prioritize them, you carve out time in your schedule to text them, to talk to them on the phone hang out with them, maybe dinner or lunch do activities etc. And before you know it they’re your best friend. You guys take trips together, they know all your secrets and they become apart of your life.
This is what happens with men or women when we are in the gray area and when you add sex. Everything goes out the window.
My suggestion and something I’ve started doing – take time for yourself. Just for your and that person. Keep your shit private and don’t share your moves with everyone. One voice can become a thousand and everybody’s opinion isn’t always necessary or needed. And the bottom line is, a lot of people don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about 🤷🏾♀️
Here for work but got to see some sights. I will admit the first time I came here I hated it. The weather was shitty, our air bnb was cold and the food was nasty. This time I loved it.
I need to write a review about the Verilux Happy Light because this little shit has saved my whole entire life.
I swear I was ready to throw myself in front of an express 2 train the other day and I couldn’t figure out why, then I remembered it was officially the winter solstice aka my weak season. See I suffer from something called SAD or Seasonal Affective Disorder. Basically i get reaaaaalllllyyyyy down and out during the winter, colder months. For this reason I DREAD fall because I know (in the words of John Snow) winter is coming and I really lose it.
Enter my sunlight, while I wish I was getting paid or some sort of promotion to write this, I am not and had to fork out $37.16 for my Verilux Happy Light, but let me tell you it’s worth every penny. The instructions say you’re supposed to sit with it a few feet away from your face for 20-30 minutes. I however, being the little rule breaker I am sit with it 3 inches away from my face for at LEAST 45 minutes. After 20 I feel good and after 30 I feel like I could run a marathon (I would never though) and at 45 I’ve peaked. I usually like to pair the sunlight with another soothing activity like watching tv, coloring my adult coloring book or talking to on the phone (it’s hard to eat – my favorite activity – and lay down with a light shining in your face, and yes I’ve tried).
The point is, if you feel sadder than usual in the winter and you dread the cold weather and sun setting early, skip brunch this weekend and put $40 towards a sunlight, don’t be ashamed and know that you’re not the only one. This shit is seriously out here saving lives.