One night I went out with my friend and she met this cute guy. He hailed a cab for us to go home.. Until I realized they weren’t in the cab. I was literally paid to go away so he could hook up with her
Only in the Bronx can you find canned foods from the 90’s on the bodega shelves, and think nothing of it
Pharmacist: Oh I’m sorry I didn’t fill this prescription because this medication is usually given to middle aged men with kidney stones and um well you didn’t exactly fit that description.
Me: Well, yea. I had kidney stones.
Only in the Bronx can you go to Wendy’s and find a new mother, with her three day old baby, eating a cheeseburger on the condiments counter
A friend of mine once said “Fuck the freshman 15, it’s the senior 15”; truer words have never been spoken. When you first arrive at college you’re nervous, jittery and lost. Which equals, not a lot of eating, a lot of drinking on an empty stomach and a lot of walking around. All this adds up to weight loss. Let’s fast forward three years, you’re legal, yes liquid calories is a real thing, probably have an apartment (or car) and every fast food place within a 10-mile radius on speed dial. You know where you’re going, you know what you’re doing and you’re comfortable. Gone are the days of trying to dress up for a night out, and putting on 4-inch heels to teeter around in a spandex dress, now you’re lucky if you make it out of your apartment after a hardy buffalo chicken wrap.
And yes, you might know where the gym is, but I’ll be dammed if you pass by the 7-eleven on the way home and don’t stop to get a slushy.
Forget what you’ve heard the freshman 15 doesn’t exist.
“I’m grateful for the loud music always being played outside my window”