One night I went out with my friend and she met this cute guy. He hailed a cab for us to go home.. Until I realized they weren’t in the cab. I was literally paid to go away so he could hook up with her

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Only in the Bronx can you find canned foods from the 90’s on the bodega shelves, and think nothing of it

Pharmacist: Oh I’m sorry I didn’t fill this prescription because this medication is usually given to middle aged men with kidney stones and um well you didn’t exactly fit that description.

Me: Well, yea. I had kidney stones.

Only in the Bronx can you go to Wendy’s and find a new mother, with her three day old baby, eating a cheeseburger on the condiments counter

Review: The senior 15

A friend of mine once said “Fuck the freshman 15, it’s the senior 15”; truer words have never been spoken. When you first arrive at college you’re nervous, jittery and lost. Which equals, not a lot of eating, a lot of drinking on an empty stomach and a lot of walking around. All this adds up to weight loss. Let’s fast forward three years, you’re legal, yes liquid calories is a real thing, probably have an apartment (or car) and every fast food place within a 10-mile radius on speed dial. You know where you’re going, you know what you’re doing and you’re comfortable. Gone are the days of trying to dress up for a night out, and putting on 4-inch heels to teeter around in a spandex dress, now you’re lucky if you make it out of your apartment after a hardy buffalo chicken wrap.

And yes, you might know where the gym is, but I’ll be dammed if you pass by the 7-eleven on the way home and don’t stop to get a slushy.

“I’m grateful for the loud music always being played outside my window”

-#bronxblockparties

Hahaha but seriously between spring break and paying my rent I dropped $1,000 this past week and I looked at my balance and it was 10 dollars and I’m about to spend 5 on a subway sandwich

#brokegirlproblems