Hair

I’ve been OH SO FORTUNATE and haven’t had a bad hair day in like 3 months. But today…today was another story.

I woke up and it looked at if half my hair decided to take a little vacation, like hello? did I not just spend like 20 minutes moisturizing and twisting you to perfection? and this is how you repay me? rude as shit. Needless to say I’m a dark place today.

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Always

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But seriously? why do people ask this. I swear my Dad is the king of these kind of stupid questions and then when he loses something he’s like “yo where is my wallet?” like…hello? isn’t it YOUR wallet?

Yea. I thought so

Review: Watching TV

So I’ll be moving in a few weeks and I’m trying to explain to my parents the importance of having a TV in my room.

Watching TV for me is like therapy. For two hours a day, six when I was unemployed, I was transported to another land. A land of Kardashians, Mob Wives and Duck Dynasty. I forgot my troubles of being a 22 year old unemployed college graduate who was in $30,000 worth of debt and no way to pay it back (thanks so mom and dad it’s now down to $27,000, yay!). When you’re watching TV time stands still and it moves forward, your mind is still but it’s also running at 1,000 miles an hour. There’s nothing like snuggling up in bed, fixing yourself a delicious snack, settling into a neck pillow and having a four hour Law and Order: SVU marathon for an entire afternoon.

Review: Going out

Going out. Just the phrase going out make me want to put on footie pajamas, my biggest pair of underwear and watch a thousand episodes of Downtown Abbey. I was first introduced to the idea of going out at the tender age of 16 while spending my school year abroad in Zaragoza, Spain, and  I couldn’t get enough, so much so that for the next six years it was my livelihood. However, this all came to a screeching halt the second Father McShane handed me my diploma and I moved back home. Fast forward and things still haven’t changed. A miniskirt hasn’t hit my flesh in one fiscal year, and I couldn’t be happier.

Gone are the days of wobbling around in 4-inch heels, piling on five layers of mascara and taming my hair. My Friday and Saturday nights are now consumed with eating unhealthy amounts of ice cream, browsing tumblr and thinking about how nice it is, that I’m not going out.

Review: YouTube

I’ve always hated the phrase “Have you guys seen that one video on YouTube?”  I have never seen that “one video” they were talking about. I was always so against YouTube and it’s never ending supply of cat videos. However, when you’re unemployed and your bedtime slowly creeps closer and closer to sunrise, you have to find a way to entertain yourself, and, that way is YouTube. Only on YouTube can you go from watching a montage of Blake Griffin dunk videos, to a Jimmy Fallon skit, to a Breakfast club interview of ASAP Rocky. You know that column on the right hand side of the screen? Don’t look at it because before you know it, it’ll be 3 a.m. and you’ll be watching a video of a squirrel eating a lemon.

Just in case you’re interested: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlD2X0kYkxo

Review: Work attire

When I was younger, I thought dressing like an adult meant dressing like one of the girls from Sex and the City, imagine my surprise when I discovered this what not the case. One thing a lot of graduates struggle with is wardrobe transitioning from college to real world. Neon bandeaus and leather jeggings are not appropriate for real life, and no 5-inch heels are not business casual. It’s a shock to the system and there will be times when you will slip up and forget that you’re at a 9-5 and not your 3 p.m. math class. There will be times when you try to pair your thigh high heels with a blazer, and attempt to rock a sheer blouse with some business pumps, but as time goes on you will learn.

“It’s such a waste of a day”

-Said by an employee in reference to my job

Review: applying for jobs

“Oh man, you know I’m just applying for a job”

“Yea, I’m out here trying to get this money”

” I’m just doing some job hunting”

Applying for a job is a never-ending saga. There are so many job sites and a seemingly endless list of jobs posted. My question is, who is getting hired for these jobs? And where are they located? No one I know is working at any of them. I’m certainly not working at any of them. What’s going on?

The other day my dad suggested I print out my resume and go to a radio station to try and find a job. Unfortunately for both of us, this isn’t 1982 and most companies have a little thing I like to call security that prevents people from barging in and demanding to speak to the president of the company.

Everything is digital, applying for jobs consists of trolling job sites like indeed, media bistro and monster.com. It sucks

It sucks because you know your resume will most likely never see the light of day. You’ll get one of those automated email responses like: ” Thank you for applying to this position. If we are interested in moving forward with the application process, someone will be in contact with you”.

Please let me help ease you’re nerves while your waiting, you won’t hear from them. IF you’re lucky you might get the generic “We regret to inform you that you have not been selected for this position, please continue to check our website for future opportunities”.

You’ll check back, reapply and the whole cycle will repeat itself.

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Just remember this, you don’t actually live here. We’re just letting you temporarily stay with us

Thanks mom