6,7, and 8

Okay so after some thought, and a few more unemployed days I’m finally able to complete my list, and yes I added one more.

6) Your apartment will never be perfect. Finding an apartment with no flaws in New York is impossible, unless you have an extra $2,000 a month you’re willing to spend on rent. For example, my apartment has fake walls. Never heard of that, educate yourself.

My apartment happens to be a luxurious 786 sq feet. Think that’s bad? my friends live in a 400 sq foot stunner, no fake walls. Another trio of my buddies lives in a spacious 3 bedroom, only downside? no living room area and no cable. You win some you lose some biddies.

7) Smile at no one. My families from the south, we are a friendly people, we smile and say hello. In DC  it was a common thing to smile and say hello to people on the street when making awkward eye contact with them- a hard thing to avoid seeing as the city was crawling with tourists. Here, the best thing you can do for yourself is investing in the largest blackest pair of sunglasses you can find and perfecting the dodge*

8) You’re gonna have to swallow your pride if you’re not willing to be a slave. By this I mean if you are not in New York working as a finance person working 90 hours a week or someone in PR who works 6 days a week you will have to swallow your pride and work:

  1. In retail
  2. As a temp
  3. Receptionist
  4. Someone’s assistant
  5. Some other position where you work a million hours and get paid nothing

Today’s lesson has been concluded- go forth and be fruitful.

*Anyone whose gone to college knows what I’m talking about. This is where you see someone you recognize, make eye contact, then look away quickly pretending like you didn’t just see them.