Why you don’t text while blacked out

The reason this post isn’t a review of blacking out is because I myself have never personally blacked out. While I’ve forgotten a few details of nights, maybe a conversation here or there or hallucinated a bit I’ve never completely lost a night.

My roommate however is a different story.

This Thursday we decided to go out and celebrate the 4th of July – or not having to go to work Friday. Our night started out pretty good with some reasonable pregaming.

FullSizeRender  <– That’s not a good sign and not at all reasonable

When you pregame like there’s only one way your night is going to end, and that is by sending texts like this.


This snapshot is giving me ‘Hey I’m really blacked out and am trying my best to hold a conversation but I’m struggling to find the right words any words to say’

Hey does not answer ‘Are you in town’, ‘What’s up’ or ‘Where are you?’, and while it is a nice opening line, it also is not a response to ‘Happy 4th’. It is clearly a sign that someone (my roommate) needs a glass of water, a pillow, or a friend to help her write her text messages.

This my friends is what happens when you black out.

Why you don’t start your night at 2:30 a.m.

Being the introvert I am, it’s sometimes hard for me to get out. Be social, meet new people, so on and so forth. However one fateful night the stars aligned and my roommates and I decided to venture out into the frigid New York night.

We began our night at our apartment – drinking, laughing, and dancing to our teeny iPod speakers. I was hopeful as the clocked ticked closer to midnight.

“Maybe we won’t go out?, perhaps we’ll just stay here and drink all night, maybe someone will get too drunk and need to be taken care of?, I’ll volunteer, maybe I’ll be that drunk person”

These were all thoughts that ran through my head, it would be, in short, a dream come true. As I began to drink faster, my plan backfired and I was running to pee every 15 minutes.

Plan b. I suggested we go out somewhere near by, somewhere we could walk to or even just a few subway stops away – that was a success. It was now almost one and we make the trek to the lounge. Let me just pause to say a word about lounges, they are my jam. A place to sit, drink, dance (if you wish) and fellowship, a great place for the perfect mellow night. It’s basically like being at home with 50-80 of your closest friends. Plenty of space to put my coat, room to dance and no line at the bathroom, my ideal ladies evening.

We had been there for about an hour and I was tired, ready to hit up the nearest McDonald’s and call it a night, my roommates; however, had a different plan. They felt as if the night was waaaaaaay too mellow to be called an evening out, as alas I found myself in a cab further uptown and away from the bed.

The second we stepped out of the cab I knew we had made a mistake, while I was trying to mentally prepare myself for what was to become part 2 of my evening, my roommates were running to the bar and aggressively drinking. While they were chatting up old friends, I was looking for a place to put my coat, and by the time they were on beer #2 I was ready to go. The main and most obvious problem about this evening is that we (they) were trying to play catch up. While I was rocking a light buzz it seemed as if everyone was rolling their faces off, I figured the bouncer must have been handing out ecstasy to all the patrons he deemed to be too sober and since we didn’t arrive until 2:30 IN THE MORNING….we’d missed the handout.

A WORD TO THE WISE – if you plan on starting your night at 2:30 a.m. byod (bring your own drugs), an iv for vodka infusions or just stay home.

One night I went out with my friend and she met this cute guy. He hailed a cab for us to go home.. Until I realized they weren’t in the cab. I was literally paid to go away so he could hook up with her