Review: Sunday Scaries

No matter how much you love your job, your life, your apartment or the dinner you ate the night before at some point in your life you will experience what we lovingly call the Sunday Scaries. This is when the weight of the weekend, the week before and just life in general begin to weigh on your shoulders and you wonder is it all worth it? Should I just cash in my money, move to Atlanta and become a stripper (not to say stripping isn’t difficult because it damn sure well is).

Now don’t get it twisted the Sunday scaries don’t come every weekend, just after a particularly fun weekend, long weekend, one where you’ve done a lot of shit things, the weather is beautiful, the weather is shitty or just randomly! The point is I had them today for the first time in as long as I can remember and it really had me fucked up. I do a lot of self care things, I eat tasty foods, paint my nails all the time, read self help books, watch all the trashy TV I want etc. so when I get down it startles the fuck out of me and I don’t know what to do.

So today I went for a walk, ate ice cream and am making this blog post to help lift my spirits. I hope none of you ever have to go through the Sunday scaries, and if you do I hope you have a laundry list of things you can do to make yourself feel better.

HAPPY SUNDAY BITCHES.

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Review: Apple Support

SO I just had to write this review at the tender hour of 10:17pm on a Monday night because I was about ready to flush my iPhone down the toilet until I spoke to the lovely Brent over at Apple (also big shout out to the Scottish/Irish man who helped me on Sunday).

Long story short, I got an iPad in 2013 for Christmas (literally besides my Beats headphones this was the best gift I’d ever gotten). I  used it faithfully and merrily for 3 long and luscious years UNTIL January of 2017 when some fucker managed to hack into my iCloud account, change the primary email address and LOCK ME THE FUCK OUT. For 1 long strenuous year I was unable to use my beloved iPad and because the little ho-bag changed my security questions I couldn’t get in. But that all changed today, my sweet father (shout out to you Terry Washington) trekked his black ass up to Maryland, went to the Best Buy in Wheaton (don’t worry he was already up there for business) got my receipt and NOW after 374 long days of pain and suffering I’ve been reunited with my iPad (First World problems, I know). IN MY DEFENSE, I’ve been flying a lot lately (yes I hear how spoiled I sound with every stroke of the keys) and I just started watching this new Spanish telenovela called Velvet. Anyways, Apple Care was SO GOOD TO ME. So helpful even when I couldn’t fully explain myself, and they’re able to like remotely control your computer so that when you’re an idiot like me they can help you out faster.

The point is, I love Apple Care, fuck Android, Steve Jobs forever (only second to Wakanda)

Dear White People

Dear White People;

When you wear baggy jeans, sneakers and oversized jackets remember where that came from.

When you wear chains, large jewelry and sag your pants, remember where that came from.

When you have long nails,  nail art and hoop earrings and remember where that came from.

When you look at fashion and style today, just please remember where it came from and remember how you used to (and continue to) treat us and fucking remember where all your cool shit came from.

Thuggers finest p1

For those of you who don’t know I’m obsessed with Young Thug, even though I can only understand about 78% of what he’s saying in his raps (I think that’s pretty high). I used to only do this Lil Wayne, but I’d like to bring Thugger into the lyric breakdown (aka me posting some of my favorite lyrics of his). This gem comes to us from “No Limit” by Usher, where another of one my favorite lines comes from “Give her that ghetto D”

 

You finer than wine
Baby girl I ain’t lying
Make my homies drop a dime
Commit a crime
Jeopardize my lifeline
Just to see your vital sign
Ain’t no limit, babe we do it larger
Ain’t no limit babe when you a starter
Martyr outsmart the ‘Rari, ‘Rari
Fill the session with Bacardi Barbies
Kerosene, kerosene
Promise spin, washing machine
Thin waisted primadonna
Never limit, I’m a stoner
Tinted out, them never rentals
Fuck them boys, they always get us
Bottle and rag denim
I’mma spend my night with ‘dem
I could put karats all over you
Karats all over you
Never mind, we only poppin’ shit
Man I been getting high with these fools
And she said all her friends fake, was solo rocking
And she a real bad bad bitch, she ain’t gotta Photoshop it

Mish-Mash p2

I saw this photo in London and obviously stopped in the middle of the sidewalk like an obnoxious tourist to snap a photo. Why? because at heart I’m really an 11 year old boy.

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I took this photo in Porto, Portgual. Specifically the Duoro Valley which is know for it’s wine. A little fun fact about Porto wine, it’s strong AF. Don’t ask me the exact alcohol content because as you can see from this photo many of the glasses are empty and I don’t remember what the vineyard owners told us. Plus their accents were so cute I wasn’t really paying attention anyways. I’m posting this for several reasons, but the main on being that I’m so proud of how good it looks! Right? I bought this new camera for my travels a Sony I think and I’ve been messing with the settings and focus ever since I got it and this photo is a great example of when I finally got it right. I think it looks super cool, with the blurry background (super artsy), empty wine glasses (shows that I’m super fun, no?) and the cut off figures in the background (yes I have friends). Anyways, I’ll definitely be making prints and hanging them on my wall.

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This next photo is of some super cool street art in Morocco. Not to be super indie but who knew Morocco had street art? It was super interesting going here because of course, the media gives you so many ideas about what Africa is like, impoverished, dirty, smelly, super hot, rundown, 3rd world. But let me tell you, this is not the case and if you ever get a chance to go, do it. 

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Coming home for the Holidays…

Why does everyone always talk about hating coming home for the holidays? I’ve struggled with this question for years and never really discovered my personal reasons for it until now. Before I go into a complete family history let me clarify what I mean by home. I definitely don’t mean my parents’ house, because that is something I absolutely adore.  Sleeping in my old bed, playing with my dog, having my mom cook all my favorite foods. Home for me means Alachua, Florida. It means coming down to spend time with all my extended family, aunts, uncles, great aunts and uncles, cousins baby mommas and all. That is something I dread.

Do I get the typical “why are you still single questions?” of course I do – and as someone who was recently fucked over by the fuckboi supreme of all fuckboys trust me I’m constantly dodging certain family members just so I can avoid all man discussions. For me it’s not what’s said but what’s unsaid that bothers me. My family is one of those “we were raised going to church 4 out of the 7 days of the week families, and not just normal church but that deep south type of church families” and two generations later it still shows. Sex before marriage, drinking, dancing, cursing, drug use of any kind, gay marriage, abortions you name it it’s off topic. But the one thing my family likes to do that particularly bothers me is the a la carte approach they like to take on when it comes to these religious beliefs and values.

Let me explain – As someone who is a single lady of the New York streets, I enjoy a good time and I can with 100% certainty say that my family would not approve of over 90% of the things that I do in my free time – drinking, men, my dress, my language, it would all be frowned upon and is not to be discussed or bought up around these family members. However deplorable they might think my behavior might be it has nothing on what some of my cousins do. Multiple children out of wedlock, absentee fathers and mothers, abuse, neglect (I can go on) these are things that are not only running rampant in my family but dare I say accepted?

 

Drinking around my family? – a huge no

Bringing around your 3 kids and multiple baby mommas? – yes of course!

Wearing a skirt above my knees – I would never hear the end of my grandmothers ranting

Two children living with her that have basically been abandoned by their mother – Not a single eyelash is batted.

 

The fact that I can be openly shamed for drinking and cursing around my family while there is a myriad of abuse and neglect victims sitting around the table that we won’t dare speak about is absurd to me because on holds no flame to the other. Me having a glass of wine with my Thanksgiving dinner vs. my cousin sitting next to me who doesn’t acknowledge or take care of his 3 kids out of wedlock are not even comparable.

The fact that we hold one so highly above the other is something that drives me crazy. Granted not everyone wants to discuss their abuse in front of their family members and is a personal choice, but don’t you dare shake your finger at me when I decide to throw back a few shots of whiskey before dinner because it hurts my hurt to sit around the dinner table looking at my family which contains 3 generations of sexual abuse victims that we have never to this day have spoken about. It physically angers me that we treat our men and our women so different, watching all the men sit around as their wives fix their plates, or the way my uncles grill the girls in my family about their love life while their sons are chasing after their multiple children whose mothers are nowhere to be found. Don’t you dare ask me about what I can and can’t cook while you’re sitting there with your grandson who hasn’t seen his mom in years because she’s hopped up on drugs. How about instead of focusing on my is or isn’t in my cup you focus on the real issues at hand. For some prayer is the answer, for other it’s alcohol and for me it just happens to be both.

The eternal struggle

I just had lunch with a co-worker of mine and were talking about our lives. I’m about to shoot a web series with an old stella adler friend and she  regularly shoot a series of great videos called 3 in 30 and we were both complaining. I never feel like traveling to GLENDALE FUCKING QUEENS FOR REHEARSAL WHICH IS LITERALLY AN HOUR AWAY FROM MY APARTMENT.

She has trouble often coming up with topics and was asked to do her 3 in 30’s on a radio show and didn’t want to commit to the once a week it would take, but we’re both ready for change.

Is this what people talk about when they don’t want to put in the work? would we rather sit at home applying for acting jobs and dreaming about making it big then when the time comes for the work, not put it in? It’s a very interesting concept and makes you think if more people just got off their asses and did shit maybe we would be more successful as a whole?

Another example, I write for 20some which requires me to just sit and be creative. Maybe move my fingers a little bit? so why do I always act like it’s such a burden. Writing and acting is what I want to do, I would like it to be my job!

Oh wait, maybe that’s why it’s a burden. I dunno.

 

oh dear.

Wednesday Thoughts

  1. Why is it only Wednesday
  2. I shouldn’t have eaten those tacos for lunch
  3. Why do I have so much work to do?
  4. Why on the days when it’s raining does the L train decide to not run?
  5. It was amazing that despite the L train not running and the bus being crowded I was only 5 minutes late to work
  6. Where are all my co-workers?
  7. Why is my office so cold?
  8. Where is the sun?
  9. What documentary should I watch after work today
  10. I should stop neglecting my blog so much