It’s beginning to look a lot like I need to move to Florida.

Anybody who lives north of the mason Dixon line can tell you that even though it’s cold af out here. It’s only just beginning. Yes, although temperatures are dipping down to the 20’s it’s not even that cold. This is a roundabout way of me saying I hate the cold weather and basically everything that comes along with it.

Which means that I don’t like Christmas. Yes, I’m a grinch and I don’t care who knows it. Despite the fact that my friends, family and now all of you know this this friend dragged me to Dyker Beach? Or Dyker Heights? One of those places to see some Gaudí Christmas decorations and despite the fact that it took 20 minutes for me to feel my hands. I loved every second of it.

Shoutout to my friends for sending me their photos. My iPhone 8 takes photos that look like they were drawn by a turtle.

SAD and the Verilux Hero

I need to write a review about the Verilux Happy Light because this little shit has saved my whole entire life.

I swear I was ready to throw myself in front of an express 2 train the other day and I couldn’t figure out why, then I remembered it was officially the winter solstice aka my weak season. See I suffer from something called SAD or Seasonal Affective Disorder. Basically i get reaaaaalllllyyyyy down and out during the winter, colder months.  For this reason I DREAD fall because I know (in the words of John Snow) winter is coming and I really lose it.

Enter my sunlight, while I wish I was getting paid or some sort of promotion to write this, I am not and had to fork out $37.16 for my Verilux Happy Light, but let me tell you it’s worth every penny. The instructions say you’re supposed to sit with it a few feet away from your face for 20-30 minutes. I however, being the little rule breaker I am sit with it 3 inches away from my face for at LEAST 45 minutes. After 20 I feel good and after 30 I feel like I could run a marathon (I would never though) and at 45 I’ve peaked. I usually like to pair the sunlight with another soothing activity like watching tv, coloring my adult coloring book or talking to on the phone (it’s hard to eat – my favorite activity – and lay down with a light shining in your face, and yes I’ve tried).

The point is, if you feel sadder than usual in the winter and you dread the cold weather and sun setting early, skip brunch this weekend and put $40 towards a sunlight, don’t be ashamed and know that you’re not the only one. This shit is seriously out here saving lives.

 

I got 99 problems and they all have to do with the cold weather

One of my dear friends happens to live in an apartment where her landlord controls her heat and because of this, according to her “my sexual activity greatly increases during the winter months, I like to use men for their heat” I assume she means body and otherwise.

When I’m not complaining about how hot it is, I’m usually complaining about how cold it is and that is why winter is my least favorite month.

99.  My mood is terrible from the months of November – late March

98. My social activity decreases to an embarrassingly low level

97. Not only can we control the heat in our apartment but I also have a personal space heater

96. and an electric blanket

95. and a snuggie

94. I sleep with them all on

93. All my normal socks have been replaced with fuzzy ones

92. I am forever grateful for my DVR and the hours I can spend watching house hunters international

91. Piping hot showers

90. My diet consists of 80% hot chocolate

89 – 1. Not shaving my legs